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Author Topic: I thought this was a Diego answer until I realized the author...  (Read 24 times)

ChillinDylan Godsend

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Every country on Earth agrees to impose a trade embargo on the US until the 2nd Amendment is repealed and the populace disarmed. What happens next?
Allen Inks
Allen Inks, patent attorney, nuclear power operator, submarine qualified electrician, pilot
Updated Nov 27
Day 1: World: “Repeal the second amendment to your Constitution, and disarm your civilian population, or we will impose a trade embargo”. US: “Do you really want to do this?” Then (sounding like Marisa Tomei in ‘My Cousin Vinny’), “Are you sure?”

Day 2: World: “Evil Americans, you asked for it. No more French wine for you. No more smelly cheese from the heart of Europe. No more $300,000 super cars from Italy. No more sheepskins from Australia. No more Daishikis from West Africa. No more cheap T-Shirts from Bangladesh.”

US. “Okay, I guess we’ll just have to make do with wine made in California. And Texas (whose root stock saved the French wine industry), And New York. And the Lake Erie islands of Ohio and a whole bunch of other places that make mighty fine wine. Got plenty of cheese here too. Some of it is smelly, because some like it that way. Got our own ridiculously expensive cars. Got sheep. Restarting our textile mills. “

“Oh, sorry Egypt… no airplanes for you. You either Pakistan, Great Britain, China, etc. etc. No tanks.” “Also… no wheat, other grains or soy beans. No beef. No animal feed. No Space craft. No petrochemical seed stock. No plastic resins or plastic materials.”

“Oh, and China? You know that happily employed populace you have… Those Billion people that now have rising expectations of wealth and better days ahead for their families? You DID send half of them pink slips, right? Telling them that their services are no longer required because you just cancelled $500 BILLION worth of orders. Guess that their unemployment is going to be a problem for you. Hope it doesn’t lead to … Revolution?

Day 5: World: “How are you coming on that disarmament?”
 U.S.: (In the tone of Joe Pesci in “My Cousin Vinny”): “You were serious about that? (Then, continuing in a normal tone of voice) Yeah, we’ll get right on that….NOT”

Day 10: Rioting is occurring around the world as the economic impact spreads. Greek retirees demand an increase in their pensions, because the cost of daily staples has already risen 5%. 6 countries have invaded their neighbors. Ethnic cleansing has broken out in two others.

World: “US, you better get cracking… things are starting to get uncomfortable out here. You need to send troops to stop the fighting in….”

US: “Stop right there. We aren’t sending troops. We are under embargo. Solve those problems yourselves. We’re busy”

World: “Ah… too busy, because you are sending your troops door to door to disarm your civilians?

US. “LOL!!! No, we are expanding CMP (About the CMP - Civilian Marksmanship Program; and we are deploying troops to assist high schools and colleges (that don’t already have them) in building shooting ranges, and establish competitive shooting sports programs (Starting Up High School or College Shooting Program). We now realize how important it is for our citizens to be prepared. Plus, it’s a really safe sport.”

Day 30: NEW World: “Hello, US. Since we last talked, there have been some (okay, a lot) of changes out here. A lot of the governmental leaders who decided to pursue this embargo against you are no more. Some are not leaders anymore. Some are just no more among the living. So we, the new leaders have decided to end the embargo now, as a humanitarian gesture, and will just trust that you will disarm your populace… Now can you start buying stuff from us again? Quickly. Oh, and most of us need urgent military assistance. Please?”

US: “Well, we hate to see you suffer, but… after a few hiccups, our economy is doing okay. We like that we are starting to make more of our own goods. There’s a whole new spirit of nationalism. And we aren’t going to be disarming our civilian population. We, as politicians, are stupid. But we are not THAT stupid. We don’t want revolution HERE! So solve your own problems.

Day 31: New World: “Okay, we give in. Please help us. What do we need to do?
US: Okay, you need to amend your Constitutions to include this clause: “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.” That means that people have a right to keep firearms to protect themselves, their loved ones, their neighbors, and their communities. Against criminals. Against anyone.
New World: Okay, got it. Will do. Anything else?
US: Nope, not at this time. We’ll be sending out the fleet with some relief supplies and the US Marines later today. Meanwhile, send us some Bollywood movies…and some Toblerone.

EDIT: I dashed this answer off in just a few minutes. It has gone on to be one of the most upvoted answers I ever wrote, both in absolute numbers , and more gratifyingly, in upvotes as a percentage of views. But more than that… the comments (both pro and con) are pretty interesting to me. I encourage you to look at the comments, and be sure to click ALL …so you can see them all.

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