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Author Topic: WORST superhero film?  (Read 520 times)

PORG

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WORST superhero film?
« on: August 08, 2016, 02:59:20 pm »
We talk a lot about the best on this site, but in the wake of Suicide Squad, the impending doom of the DCU, and John randomly defending TASM 2, I'm having a rough time deciding what the worst of the worst is in this overcrowded genre.

Some that immediately come to mind are of course Suicide Squad and TASM 2 (3/10 and 2/10, respectively), but are they truly worse than the likes of Fant4stic and Green Lantern? Having a tough time deciding this myself....

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cupcake

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2016, 03:03:00 pm »
John the type of nigga to write a 10 page essay on why Spider-Man 3 sucks (with 9 of those pages basically telling us who the cast and crew was and the entire plot) but then defend TASM 2
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PORG

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2016, 03:04:31 pm »
John the type of nigga to write a 10 page essay on why Spider-Man 3 sucks (with 9 of those pages basically telling us who the cast and crew was and the entire plot) but then defend TASM 2
For the record, Spider-Man 3 = good film.
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Frankie

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2016, 03:05:29 pm »
Fant4stic and TASM 2 are both god awful films with BvS as a close third.

TASM 2 probably hurt my brain the most while Fant4stic was just absolutely devoid of any life, just a soulless piece of filmmaking. I'd say it's close between those two, but I'm inching towards TASM 2.
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cupcake

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2016, 03:06:07 pm »
John the type of nigga to write a 10 page essay on why Spider-Man 3 sucks (with 9 of those pages basically telling us who the cast and crew was and the entire plot) but then defend TASM 2
For the record, Spider-Man 3 = good film.

Oh... you're Tatum? 
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cupcake

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #5 on: August 08, 2016, 03:13:55 pm »
But you people claiming Fant stic 4 or TASM 2 to be the worst superhero film need to watch these three anus films.





Oh and also Darkman 2.  The first one was amazing.  The sequel?  Nah..
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Tut

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #6 on: August 08, 2016, 03:19:40 pm »
Let's see... let me think for a minute about this one. There are a lot of bad superhero movies, so the absolute worst would have to be a special kind of terrible. First off, it would have a lot of actors I hate. Probably Kevin Costner and Russell Crowe. Not Hugh Grant... that would be the trifecta though. Maybe the beginning would be nonsensical action that was put in the film solely to showcase the set design and Avatar rip-off visuals. I'm talking Phantom Menace vibes here. And maybe phallic imagery.

The main actor would have to be cast for looks alone; no acting capability whatsoever there. The dialogue would have to be truly awful, especially if it wants to beat something like TASM 2 or Age of Ultron. It would have to be screwed up on a fundamental level, not just superficial ones. I'm not talking about witty banter here-- the very essence of the movie would have to be confusing and self-contradictory. Maybe the movie would try to teach a lesson to the audience, but fail. Like, for instance, the hero's father figure could imply that letting people die horrible deaths is a viable option. No "With great power comes great responsibility" scenes in this one.

While I do hate Marvel's technicolor comic book visuals, I think it would be more annoying if the movie had a dull, grey color scheme devoid of joy and artistry. Then it could really let down the central theme of all superhero movies, at the same time tricking stupid people into thinking that there's some real artistic vision in the film. Hell, at that point, let's just say the whole movie is dark and brooding. Maybe the hero could be a character who has always symbolized hope and freedom, but the uncreative director decided to jump on the Nolan bandwagon and, like a remora, leech off of the Dark Knight trilogy's success. The trouble is, the dark tone wouldn't translate well here at all, and the result would be a horrifically depressing film that ruins a legendary character for an entire generation of moviegoers. I dunno, I'm just spitballing here.

Then, to round out this concoction of awfulness I'm dreaming up here, the ending would have to be ridiculous. Just an hour of people punching each other and smashing buildings down. I know, it sounds silly, and no director or studio would ever do something like that. But to outdo AOU, this hypothetical film would really need to go to town in the boredom department. Maybe six million people could inadvertently die in the process too. This would really round out the movie's core flaw-- that a hero who has been a symbol of hope for decades has been turned into a dark, brooding asshole who lets people die by the thousands. It would be a perfect metaphor for the cynicism and sense of hopelessness our country has been plunged into recently, and in the end, ironically, it would update the character for modern sensibilities rather well-- ruining him in the process. This movie wouldn't just bore you. It would depress you.

Just a thought.

Frankie

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2016, 03:22:05 pm »
Forgot about MoS. God damn superhero films are just the worst. I miss the Raimi Spider-mans...
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cupcake

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #8 on: August 08, 2016, 03:23:43 pm »

The main actor would have to be cast for looks alone

Are you admitting that you are attracted to Henry Cavill?
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Tut

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #9 on: August 08, 2016, 03:27:07 pm »

The main actor would have to be cast for looks alone

Are you admitting that you are attracted to Henry Cavill?

Who's Henry Cavill? This is just a hypothetical superhero movie.





But seriously though, I was actually referring to the fact that he resembled the character. Much in the way Ashton Kutcher was cast as Steve Jobs solely because he looked kinda like him. You can't make casting choices based solely off of looks... that's why Nicolas Cage should have been Superman.

cupcake

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #10 on: August 08, 2016, 03:32:28 pm »

The main actor would have to be cast for looks alone

Are you admitting that you are attracted to Henry Cavill?

Who's Henry Cavill? This is just a hypothetical superhero movie.





But seriously though, I was actually referring to the fact that he resembled the character. Much in the way Ashton Kutcher was cast as Steve Jobs solely because he looked kinda like him. You can't make casting choices based solely off of looks... that's why Nicolas Cage should have been Superman.

Cavill can act.  Just watch the Cold Light of Day.  He out acted Sigourney Weaver and Bruce Willis.  Two actors who have been taking their recent roles very seriously!  Just kidding.  The guy couldn't even keep his accent hidden when he had to do emotional scenes.  Guess that's why he never really does much but speak in a monotone voice in MoS and BvS.  He was the worst part of the Immortals too and that says a lot.
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PORG

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #11 on: August 08, 2016, 03:37:39 pm »
Cavill was good in that Guy Ritchie film, but that's it. Gave one of the worst lead performances I've seen in Immortals.

Crohn's Boy

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #12 on: August 08, 2016, 04:18:36 pm »
TASM 2 and Fant4stic are both close...but while Fant4stic was overly dull and not special in any way whatsoever, TASM 2 legitimately made me angry and gave me a goddamn headache.

So yeah, TASM 2.
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Gold Jeffblum

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #13 on: August 08, 2016, 04:40:07 pm »
Fant4stic
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Flounder Prefers Browntown

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #14 on: August 08, 2016, 04:53:13 pm »
Catwoman.

If we're talking worst comic book film, I'd go with The Spirit.
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Tut

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #15 on: August 08, 2016, 04:56:18 pm »
Catwoman.

If we're talking worst comic book film, I'd go with The Spirit.

I should see Catwoman just to add it to the list of "Better than MOS" films. I did see The Spirit, though. Hilarious film. I'd forgotten all about it until this comment. 1/10, better than Man of Steel by a long shot.

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #16 on: August 08, 2016, 04:57:38 pm »
John randomly defending TASM 2
If by defending, you mean posting a review that I enjoyed watching and agreed with, sure.
Everything is terrible.

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #17 on: August 08, 2016, 05:02:17 pm »
Catwoman.

If we're talking worst comic book film, I'd go with The Spirit.

I should see Catwoman just to add it to the list of "Better than MOS" films. I did see The Spirit, though. Hilarious film. I'd forgotten all about it until this comment. 1/10, better than The-Film-That-Must-Not-Be-Named by a long shot.
IDK about you, but I'd rather sit through shaky-cam disaster porn than Samuel L. Jackson farting and vomiting out horrible egg puns.
Everything is terrible.

Tut

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #18 on: August 08, 2016, 05:04:32 pm »
IDK about you, but I'd rather sit through shaky-cam disaster porn than Samuel L. Jackson farting and vomiting out horrible egg puns.

Uh-huh... except with you, it isn't a matter of "I'd rather." You actually enjoyed one film and not the other. And I find that pretty funny. Like enjoying Age of Ultron but not Fant4stic. It does not compute.

Flounder Prefers Browntown

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Re: WORST superhero film?
« Reply #19 on: August 08, 2016, 05:06:36 pm »
Like enjoying Age of Ultron but not Fant4stic. It does not compute.
Fant4stic was pretentious. Often, characters would talk about things that sound smart, interesting, and thought-provoking, but then it ends up going nowhere.
Everything is terrible.

 

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