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Author Topic: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls  (Read 2228 times)

PORG

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #100 on: June 27, 2016, 02:42:44 am »
My god....what a finale. Loved the use of "mighty python".
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Crohn's Boy

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #101 on: June 27, 2016, 04:11:11 am »
Wow, and I thought I had a bad death.
Goodbye!

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cupcake

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #103 on: June 27, 2016, 09:17:42 am »
Not gory enough, TBH.

You're a depraved individual.  That post disturbed me and I'm the guy who wrote a story about Jed's head exploding with semen and poop.
goodbye!

Catbus!

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #104 on: June 27, 2016, 09:35:56 am »
Now you need a celebrity aftershow thread.

Tut

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #105 on: June 27, 2016, 12:45:43 pm »
Now you need a celebrity aftershow thread.

Yes! "Talking Trolls." Our guests today are Caleb Paasche and Danny Oh, discussing their surprise revival and death, respectively.

Robert Neville

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #106 on: June 27, 2016, 02:44:18 pm »
Now you need a celebrity aftershow thread.

Yes! "Talking Trolls." Our guests today are Caleb Paasche and Danny Oh, discussing their surprise revival and death, respectively.

I wish Chase was the one revived, tbh.

Tut

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #107 on: June 27, 2016, 02:46:40 pm »
Now you need a celebrity aftershow thread.

Yes! "Talking Trolls." Our guests today are Caleb Paasche and Danny Oh, discussing their surprise revival and death, respectively.

I wish Chase was the one revived, tbh.

Chase abandoned us. I'm murdering every lost user from here on out.

Robert Neville

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #108 on: June 27, 2016, 02:55:02 pm »
Now you need a celebrity aftershow thread.

Yes! "Talking Trolls." Our guests today are Caleb Paasche and Danny Oh, discussing their surprise revival and death, respectively.

I wish Chase was the one revived, tbh.

Chase abandoned us. I'm murdering every lost user from here on out.

Oh, please, let's Andrea get killed next, then, in a shocking, yet totally karmic, abandonment of the original plotline much like Nicolerys' death before it. Really don't want her to get anywhere near Bryant now, after his great service at upholding good taste in film.

Robert Neville

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #109 on: June 27, 2016, 02:55:43 pm »
Now you need a celebrity aftershow thread.

Yes! "Talking Trolls." Our guests today are Caleb Paasche and Danny Oh, discussing their surprise revival and death, respectively.

I wish Chase was the one revived, tbh.

Chase abandoned us. I'm murdering every lost user from here on out.

Oh, please, let's Andrea get killed next, then, in a shocking, yet totally karmic, abandonment of the original plotline much like Nicolerys' death before it. Really don't want her to get anywhere near Bryant now, after his great service at upholding good taste in film.

And if you need any extra persuasion...

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Tut

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #110 on: June 27, 2016, 03:11:36 pm »
You shouldn't have shown me that, Neville... I'm going to have some fun with these...

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Tut

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #111 on: June 27, 2016, 03:33:33 pm »
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cupcake

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #112 on: June 27, 2016, 03:39:55 pm »
You shouldn't have shown me that, Neville... I'm going to have some fun with these...



Okay... thank you for this.  I actually laughed out loud.  Haven't done that in a while.
goodbye!
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Tut

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #113 on: August 03, 2017, 05:15:09 am »
>>>SEASON THREE<<<

Pan down to a wide shot of the great hall at the Jed Keep. Hundreds of noble lords and ladies are in attendance as the king holds court. At the moment, King Jedffrey sits on his throne lazily, a crossbow in his hands.

Jedffrey: "Next!"

Grand Maester Maverick approaches. He looks terrified as the king stares back at him, and clears his throat.

Maverick: "My king, I must say that the commoners have found many of your latest reforms... troubling. After you established Scientology as the one true religion, they nearly revolted, but now you have banned other religious practices altogether! Our nation is diverse, my king, and you cannot outlaw every film in existence aside from Battlefield Earth. We must take a more moderate approach to this new order, for the good of the people."

Jedffrey: "Huh."

The crowd looks shocked. Have Maverick's words reached Jedffrey? Will he change course now that his most trusted adviser has spoken out against him?

Jedffrey: "Nah. You're fired."

Jedffrey shoots a crossbow bolt square into Maverick's face. He collapses on the ground, instantly dead. The crowd recoils in shock. In a far corner of the hall, Lord Dylin stands beside his son, Tyrfien, watching the proceedings.

Dylin: "Body count: 15."

Tyrfien: "Father, you cannot allow this to continue. Jedffrey goes through advisers so quickly we can't possibly keep up. There aren't enough users in the Oasis to keep this spoof going."

Dylin: "Foolish child... I like Jedffrey's leadership style. He tells it like it is."

Tyrfien: "Are you kidding? He's clearly mentally unstable! Imagine the damage he'll have done to the realm after a few short years as king! He has trampled the people's freedom of religion, he's extremely reactionary, and he can't be trusted to carry out the day-to-day duties of the office without starting some controversy. Jedffrey is a disaster!"

Dylin: "Globalist scum... I support our king. He doesn't bow down to political correctness..."

Tyrfien: "A few months ago you were telling me that Jedffrey was an imbecile! What changed?"

Dylin: "He gets results. Haven't you heard? Jedffrey is making Westeros great again."

Tyrfien facepalms in disgust.
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Kale Pasta

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #114 on: August 03, 2017, 07:58:21 am »
Pan down to a wide shot of the great hall at the Jed Keep. Hundreds of noble lords and ladies are in attendance as the king holds court. At the moment, King Jedffrey sits on his throne lazily, a crossbow in his hands.

Jedffrey: "Next!"

Grand Maester Maverick approaches. He looks terrified as the king stares back at him, and clears his throat.

Maverick: "My king, I must say that the commoners have found many of your latest reforms... troubling. After you established Scientology as the one true religion, they nearly revolted, but now you have banned other religious practices altogether! Our nation is diverse, my king, and you cannot outlaw every film in existence aside from Battlefield Earth. We must take a more moderate approach to this new order, for the good of the people."

Jedffrey: "Huh."

The crowd looks shocked. Have Maverick's words reached Jedffrey? Will he change course now that his most trusted adviser has spoken out against him?

Jedffrey: "Nah. You're fired."

Jedffrey shoots a crossbow bolt square into Maverick's face. He collapses on the ground, instantly dead. The crowd recoils in shock. In a far corner of the hall, Lord Dylin stands beside his son, Tyrfien, watching the proceedings.

Dylin: "Body count: 15."

Tyrfien: "Father, you cannot allow this to continue. Jedffrey goes through advisers so quickly we can't possibly keep up. There aren't enough users in the Oasis to keep this spoof going."

Dylin: "Foolish child... I like Jedffrey's leadership style. He tells it like it is."

Tyrfien: "Are you kidding? He's clearly mentally unstable! Imagine the damage he'll have done to the realm after a few short years as king! He has trampled the people's freedom of religion, he's extremely reactionary, and he can't be trusted to carry out the day-to-day duties of the office without starting some controversy. Jedffrey is a disaster!"

Dylin: "Globalist scum... I support our king. He doesn't bow down to political correctness..."

Tyrfien: "A few months ago you were telling me that Jedffrey was an imbecile! What changed?"

Dylin: "He gets results. Haven't you heard? Jedffrey is making Westeros great again."

Tyrfien facepalms in disgust.
Oh my god, I hadn't read these before (to avoid GOT spoilers), but that was hilarious. I'm gonna have to go back to the beginning...

Tut

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #115 on: August 04, 2017, 02:56:45 am »
Meanwhile, deep in the wintry north, Caleb Snow and Takasandre march to see Mance Randy and the users trapped on the other side of the wall. Caleb has died of starvation several times along the way, and been resurrected each time, yet he still refuses to eat any of the animals that Takasandre has hunted and killed. Emaciated, limp, and bony, he stumbles to the top of a ridge, from which he looks down upon the wildling camp.

Takasandre: "Here, my lord. Come and see. These are the tired, the poor, the huddled masses kept out of the Oasis. Rotten Tomatoes users, refugees from IMDb... they must come south of the wall if they are to be saved. A great evil is coming, Caleb Snow. And if all fans of cinema do not fight as one... film discussion as a whole will perish."

Caleb Snow: "Uuuuurk..."

Caleb collapses from starvation again, landing facedown in the snow. Takasandre rolls her eyes, mutters some bullshit, and he springs back to life.

Caleb: "Please... just let me die."

The pair walk down into the camp, which has been constructed on an open plain of ice. The users look on the newcomers with suspicion, crowding around Caleb as he stands in the midst of them. He frowns at them in a state of hunger-induced delirium.

Caleb: "Bring me... ALL your elderly!"

Takasandre: "No, my lord. Wrong spoof."
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Tut

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #116 on: August 05, 2017, 01:42:23 am »
At Castle Snyderfell, the only remaining lord is little John, who has woken up from his sleep crippled and bedridden. He sits sadly in his bed pirating movies as his wildling assistant, Kate, talks to him.

Kate: "Mi'lord, I know you'll never be able to walk again. But the blacksmith thinks he may have developed a way for you to ride. He has built a pair of braces for your legs so that you may sit on horseback, and he has a plan to train the horse from a young age to respond to your commands. What do you think?"

John: "Leg braces? Like in Forrest Gump?"

Kate: "Yes, mi'lord, I suppose so. I can bring them to show you if you'd like--"

Suddenly, John's eyes roll back in his head, and he appears to gaze skyward. He is having a vision! He speaks in a monotone drone that echoes throughout the chamber.

John: "Forrest Gump is a 1994 comedy-drama film directed by Robert Zemeckis."

Kate: "M-- mi'lord?"

John: "It stars Tom Hanks, Sally Field, Robin Wright, and Gary Sinise, and was based on the novel of the same name by Winston Groom."

Kate: "Yes, mi'lord, but if we could get back to the braces--"

John: "Fun fact-- Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, and John Travolta were all offered the role of Forrest, but they all turned it down. Travolta later admitted that it was a mistake."

Kate: "John... come now. You took that straight from the top page of Google results."

John: "The line 'My name is Forrest Gump. People call me Forrest Gump,' considered to be one of the iconic lines from the movie, was thought up spontaneously by Tom Hanks while shooting the scene. Zemeckis liked it so much he decided to retain the line."

Kate: "All right. I'll come back when you're feeling better then."

Kate closes the door behind her as she leaves. John can still be heard, his babbling muffled through the thick stone walls.
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Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #117 on: August 05, 2017, 01:53:59 am »
I really like the subversion of Bran's  visions (based on my knowledge from the books) in that scene.

cupcake

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #118 on: August 05, 2017, 01:55:33 am »
I really like the subversion of Bran's  visions (based on my knowledge from the books) in that scene.

goodbye!

Tut

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Re: Diego Tutweiller Presents: A Game of Trolls
« Reply #119 on: August 06, 2017, 02:50:55 am »
I really like the subversion of Bran's  visions (based on my knowledge from the books) in that scene.

John is on a fast track to becoming the three-eyed movie pirate. He shall see everything.
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