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Author Topic: James Wan's Halloween Freak Show Spookathon!  (Read 280 times)

James Wan

  • Thomas Horn
  • *
  • Posts: 13
  • Are you scared yet?
James Wan's Halloween Freak Show Spookathon!
« on: October 31, 2016, 11:40:32 am »
Gather Ďround, friends, and Iíll give you a spook
With decapitation and guts Ďtill you puke
You think youíve seen torture porn? Wait Ďtill youíve seen
My own oh-so-spooky Oasis Halloween!
By the time the nightís through, I assure youíll be scared
From Cutler to Tatum, not one shall be spared!
Will it be a jump scare? A creaking old door?
Crimson-red blood rising up through the floor?
Are you spooked yet? No? Well, wait Ďtill you hear
The army of spiders coming out of your mirror!
Yes, itís time for some spookiness, ladies and gents
Youíll be too scared to speak after this nightís events!

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Cutler de Chateau

  • Global Moderator
  • Jeff Goldblum
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  • Posts: 7213
  • Head of Music News Operations at John Tyler News
Re: James Wan's Halloween Freak Show Spookathon!
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2016, 01:25:00 pm »
You say none shall be spared, including me
Well, if you do, please start off with Nick Moody
Not one person likes him, so no one will care
Except maybe Bryan Singer, so proceed if you dare
And perhaps your next victim should be one filled with hatred
So please, do the world a favor
And kill off Caleb
« Last Edit: October 31, 2016, 01:29:27 pm by Grandpa Ghost »
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James Wan

  • Thomas Horn
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  • Posts: 13
  • Are you scared yet?
Re: James Wan's Halloween Freak Show Spookathon!
« Reply #2 on: October 31, 2016, 05:09:35 pm »


First we have Aaron, a creature most hideous
I havenít seen such a turd since I watched Insidious!
Donít get too close, kids, heís liable to stick
His fingers inside of you, then give them a lick!
Heís a skinhead!
A prick!
A meatheaded teen!
He tells stories disgusting, makes comments obscene!
Though we banned him due to his filthy routine
A user more horrible there never has been!


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Cutler de Chateau

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  • Jeff Goldblum
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Re: James Wan's Halloween Freak Show Spookathon!
« Reply #3 on: October 31, 2016, 06:01:18 pm »


First we have Aaron, a creature most hideous
I havenít seen such a turd since I watched Insidious!
Donít get too close, kids, heís liable to stick
His fingers inside of you, then give them a lick!
Heís a skinhead!
A prick!
A meatheaded teen!
He tells stories disgusting, makes comments obscene!
Though we banned him due to his filthy routine
A user more horrible there never has been!




I'm 90% sure he's no longer living. 

James Wan

  • Thomas Horn
  • *
  • Posts: 13
  • Are you scared yet?
Re: James Wan's Halloween Freak Show Spookathon!
« Reply #4 on: October 31, 2016, 06:07:00 pm »


Next we have Dommy, all greasy and gross,
Crammed full of popcorn, salt and glucose!
Look out for him, girls, be sure to dismiss
His advances, or he might just give you a kiss!
He treats Mrs. Lawrence as his personal whore
And whacks it to crap Marvel films he adores
Yes, reading his comments is really a bore
Heís the user that all of us truly abhor!
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Robert Neville

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Cutler de Chateau

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  • Head of Music News Operations at John Tyler News

James Wan

  • Thomas Horn
  • *
  • Posts: 13
  • Are you scared yet?
Re: James Wan's Halloween Freak Show Spookathon!
« Reply #7 on: October 31, 2016, 06:37:48 pm »


The spooks donít stop here, because after tonight
This nation truly is in for a fright
No matter who wins, it seems that we lose
So pick one, the rapist or the corporate stooge!
On the one hand, the witch bitch, Cruella de Vil
Who canít give an answer without sounding shrill
How could she get on the DNCís roster?
Sheís the person who ordered the death of Vince Foster!
Iím with Dylan!
Heís chilliní!
He knows sheís a villain!
Heís got theories about all the folks sheís been killiní!
In this spooky election, one thing is assured
Iím not voting for Clinton, that hateful old turd!

But choice number two is, scarily, worse
Itís the man who refuses to plan or rehearse
With hair that was transplanted straight from his ass
Heís vulgar, despicable, rude, crude, and crass!
Boo! Itís the Donald! Heís up in your face!
Grabbing your pussy and judging your race!
Is he dressed as a ghost for this fine spooky night?
No, heís wearing those robes to give Negroes a fright!
Yes, our choice sure is clear come this November
Iíd rather the candidates both be dismembered!
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Cutler de Chateau

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Re: James Wan's Halloween Freak Show Spookathon!
« Reply #8 on: October 31, 2016, 06:56:47 pm »

Iím with Dylan!
Heís chilliní!
He knows sheís a villain!
Heís got theories about all the folks sheís been killiní!



Cutler de Chateau

  • Global Moderator
  • Jeff Goldblum
  • ******
  • Posts: 7213
  • Head of Music News Operations at John Tyler News
Re: James Wan's Halloween Freak Show Spookathon!
« Reply #9 on: October 31, 2016, 07:00:07 pm »

Iím with Dylan!
Heís chilliní!
He knows sheís a villain!
Heís got theories about all the folks sheís been killiní!




The official coroner report is suicide, due to three bullets in the back of the head

James Wan

  • Thomas Horn
  • *
  • Posts: 13
  • Are you scared yet?
Re: James Wan's Halloween Freak Show Spookathon!
« Reply #10 on: October 31, 2016, 09:32:41 pm »


Should I bring him out? Might it be too soon?
Oh, screw it-- Itís the Flounder from the Black Lagoon!
You can give him applause, but donít give him a hand
Unless cum on your palm is a thing you can stand!
I apologize, friends, expect no rehashes
Of stories regarding the bishop he bashes
Heíll buy DVDs
ĎTill his credit cards freeze
Heíll keep watching movies like itís a disease!
Yes, so many films has our dear Flounder seen
That he almost missed out on this fine Halloween!
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James Wan

  • Thomas Horn
  • *
  • Posts: 13
  • Are you scared yet?
Re: James Wan's Halloween Freak Show Spookathon!
« Reply #11 on: October 31, 2016, 11:09:59 pm »


You want to be scared? Well, hereís a good guide:
Thereís nothing as frightening as genocide!
My next exhibit is a total crowd-thriller
Yes, itís Caleb Paasche, the serial killer!
This deranged lunatic has hate in his eyes
He values the animals more than human lives
Watch out! Stand back!
He may yet attack!
He worships Christ Nolan, that idiot hack!
And before you can think of a solid retort
Heíll have gotten his hands on granddadís life support!
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Caleb Paasche

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  • And the path was a circle, round and round
Re: James Wan's Halloween Freak Show Spookathon!
« Reply #12 on: November 01, 2016, 09:28:42 am »


You want to be scared? Well, hereís a good guide:
Thereís nothing as frightening as genocide!
My next exhibit is a total crowd-thriller
Yes, itís Caleb Paasche, the serial killer!
This deranged lunatic has hate in his eyes
He values the animals more than human lives
Watch out! Stand back!
He may yet attack!
He worships Christ Nolan, that idiot hack!
And before you can think of a solid retort
Heíll have gotten his hands on granddadís life support!
Damn bro, I got roasted.

 

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