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Author Topic: Bwendan Reviews: La La Land  (Read 945 times)

Diego Tutweiller

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Bwendan Reviews: La La Land
« on: January 13, 2017, 02:17:00 am »
After writing his blurb for it on Letterboxd, Brendan has graced us with a full-length review for La La Land. Remember his Suicide Squad one, where we said he had improved a bit? Well, so much for that! This one might just be his masterpiece.

http://hubpages.com/entertainment/La-La-Land-Review-The-greatness-of-a-musical

Some of my favorite quotes:

"Mia (Emma Stone) is a down and out actress with a dream to make it to the big stage one day. However, life hits her like a bus when in the form of auditions that don't go her way."

"La La Land has done something that no movie before has down. Made me realize that musicals aren't as bad as they seem. Yes they can be annoying and yes they do have a tendency to over do it with the singing. However, La La Land is a treat to be hold."

"The film might have two notorious actors in the leading role contributing to a society and industry that short of produces some wrong doings. Though this overlooked by heartbreaking and fantastic showing of human nature."

Also, incredibly, he seems to have changed his rating scale! Yes, year after year of relentless belittling has led to this moment, when Brendan finally abandons his nonsensical "school ratings system" for one that actually makes sense! Let's see it in all its glory!



Oh wait... this is somehow even worse.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2017, 02:18:53 am by Diego Tutweiller »

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CT_Sexybeast

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Re: Bwendan Reviews: La La Land
« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2017, 04:02:13 am »
I'm starting to think he might be a troll again. This...this is just too good....
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Diego Tutweiller

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Re: Bwendan Reviews: La La Land
« Reply #2 on: February 11, 2017, 04:26:41 am »
« Last Edit: February 11, 2017, 02:53:06 pm by Diego Tutweiller »
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Suspect #1

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Diego Tutweiller

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Caleb Paasche

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Re: Bwendan Reviews: La La Land
« Reply #5 on: February 11, 2017, 08:16:47 pm »
Okay... should I post it?
Lol, that review honestly sounded like he was giving it a 4/10 (which I guess is like a 7.5 for Brendan or some **** like that).

James Orenthal Cutler

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Re: Bwendan Reviews: La La Land
« Reply #6 on: February 11, 2017, 08:18:22 pm »
Okay... should I post it?
Lol, that review honestly sounded like he was giving it a 4/10 (which I guess is like a 7.5 for Brendan or some **** like that).

But a 9/10?  Wow, Brendan sure has really weird criteria.  Was it him that complained about there being no aliens in Gravity?

Diego Tutweiller

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Re: Bwendan Reviews: La La Land
« Reply #7 on: February 11, 2017, 08:28:29 pm »
Okay... should I post it?
Lol, that review honestly sounded like he was giving it a 4/10 (which I guess is like a 7.5 for Brendan or some **** like that).

This is just my first attempt at teaching Brendan the English language. Once he's mastered the basics-- punctuation, capitalization, spelling-- we can move on to more challenging stuff, like sentence structure and actually constructing a coherent argument. If those scientists can teach a gorilla how to read sign language, I think I can probably get some of my lessons through Brendan's thick neanderthal skull.
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Jed Groff

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Re: Bwendan Reviews: La La Land
« Reply #8 on: February 12, 2017, 02:09:01 am »
Okay... should I post it?
Lol, that review honestly sounded like he was giving it a 4/10 (which I guess is like a 7.5 for Brendan or some **** like that).

But a 9/10?  Wow, Brendan sure has really weird criteria.  Was it him that complained about there being no aliens in Gravity?
Wasn't that Cody Fairless-Lee?

Gold Jeffblum

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Re: Bwendan Reviews: La La Land
« Reply #9 on: February 12, 2017, 02:18:26 am »

Gold Jeffblum

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Re: Bwendan Reviews: La La Land
« Reply #10 on: February 12, 2017, 02:20:05 am »
Okay... should I post it?
Lol, that review honestly sounded like he was giving it a 4/10 (which I guess is like a 7.5 for Brendan or some **** like that).

But a 9/10?  Wow, Brendan sure has really weird criteria.  Was it him that complained about there being no aliens in Gravity?
Wasn't that Cody Fairless-Lee?
Yes.

James Orenthal Cutler

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Diego Tutweiller

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James Orenthal Cutler

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Re: Bwendan Reviews: La La Land
« Reply #13 on: February 12, 2017, 02:35:10 am »
He was ah so so close with this one.
https://letterboxd.com/bmaster4616/film/mulholland-drive/

He's done it here, though.

Lol. Baby steps, I guess.

I'm honestly more embarrassed for him nowadays.  But we should look at the positive side of things!  If Brendan can figure out how to breathe, we can do just about anything.

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James Orenthal Cutler

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Re: Bwendan Reviews: La La Land
« Reply #15 on: February 12, 2017, 02:39:18 am »
He was ah so so close with this one.
https://letterboxd.com/bmaster4616/film/mulholland-drive/

He's done it here, though.
Still doesn't ah make me any more confident in the Michigan education system :\

Hey, I'm gonna be Ricardo Pizzi with ya here, man... for every Brendan that Michigan produces, Georgia outputs 50 more.  We'd see more of them, but they don't know how to operate a computer.

Diego Tutweiller

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Re: Bwendan Reviews: La La Land
« Reply #18 on: February 12, 2017, 03:36:19 pm »
"It's one of those films that can only be seen twice, because of the dark nature of the content, but it's a must see film."

Should be on of the DVD cover's movie review quotes

Diego Tutweiller

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Re: Bwendan Reviews: La La Land
« Reply #19 on: February 12, 2017, 03:44:35 pm »
"It's one of those films that can only be seen twice, because of the dark nature of the content, but it's a must see film."

Should be on of the DVD cover's movie review quotes

Also, you can't overlook "short of." At first I thought it was just a typo, but now I think he actually thinks that's the saying. It's short of shocking.

 

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