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Author Topic: So, a piece of Hellboy fan fiction about the fish-man having sex with a deaf woman won Best Picture  (Read 330 times)

Jeff Gold

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Stand up to degeneracy and bestiality
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JT, I'm not budging on this. There are plenty of stories about being an outcast that don't feature fish sex.
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Tut

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I hate this movie.  7/10

-Diego Tutweiller, 2018

"I hate this movie. I haven't seen it."

-Nicolas Moody, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018...

I originally gave Gravity an 8/10.  Now I think its an unintentional comedy.

-Diego Tutweiller, 2014 or 2017 or whenever you decided that its an unintentional comedy

"No one is allowed to change their opinion on a film over time."

- Nicolas Moody, 2018

Seems like a bit of a stretch for you to give a film an 8/10 and then call it an unintentional comedy a few months later.

I called it that once as a joke. Dry your eyes.

Ah, so now it's a joke?  Even though in its original context, you surrounded it by films you considered to be "so bad it's good" for a while now such as The Host and The Mortal Instruments?  Even though after I accused you of it not so long ago, and after I accused you of it again just now, you didn't clarify it as a joke?  Seems a bit convenient of a time for it to suddenly be a joke, but okay, whatever you say.

You took the bait and failed spectacularly, dumpster baby. Not only did you blatantly lie about when I made the comment (my Letterboxd account didn't even exist until December of 2016), but you also didn't bother to look at the rest of my list, where Gravity is clearly ranked 27 out of the 83 films I saw in 2013-- far from unintentional comedy territory. I might make jokes in my descriptions and reviews, Moody, but I never mess with the honesty of my rankings.

Similarly, you'll also see on that same list that Frozen is ranked as #21, despite the fact that I keep saying it's a 10/10. How could this be?!

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There are plenty of stories about being an outcast that don't feature fish sex.
Everything is terrible.

Crohn's Boy

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I hate this movie.  7/10

-Diego Tutweiller, 2018

"I hate this movie. I haven't seen it."

-Nicolas Moody, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018...

I originally gave Gravity an 8/10.  Now I think its an unintentional comedy.

-Diego Tutweiller, 2014 or 2017 or whenever you decided that its an unintentional comedy

"No one is allowed to change their opinion on a film over time."

- Nicolas Moody, 2018

Seems like a bit of a stretch for you to give a film an 8/10 and then call it an unintentional comedy a few months later.

I called it that once as a joke. Dry your eyes.

Ah, so now it's a joke?  Even though in its original context, you surrounded it by films you considered to be "so bad it's good" for a while now such as The Host and The Mortal Instruments?  Even though after I accused you of it not so long ago, and after I accused you of it again just now, you didn't clarify it as a joke?  Seems a bit convenient of a time for it to suddenly be a joke, but okay, whatever you say.

You took the bait and failed spectacularly, dumpster baby. Not only did you blatantly lie about when I made the comment (my Letterboxd account didn't even exist until December of 2016), but you also didn't bother to look at the rest of my list, where Gravity is clearly ranked 27 out of the 83 films I saw in 2013-- far from unintentional comedy territory. I might make jokes in my descriptions and reviews, Moody, but I never mess with the honesty of my rankings.

First of all, I didn't "blatantly lie."  I suggested both 2014 and 2017, and John said he thinks it was in 2014, so I decided to use that year since I was trusting John to be honest.  If anything, you should be mad at him for "blatantly lying."  Secondly, Even if it isn't an unintentional comedy, I still find it laughable that an 8/10 film can go so quickly to a much lower rating just a few months later.  Almost as bad as John giving BvS a 3/10 and then changing it to a 9/10, although to his credit, at least that took multiple rewatches and an entirely different cut before it shifted instead of the rating shifting just because it became popular.
Goodbye!

Tut

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I hate this movie.  7/10

-Diego Tutweiller, 2018

"I hate this movie. I haven't seen it."

-Nicolas Moody, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018...

I originally gave Gravity an 8/10.  Now I think its an unintentional comedy.

-Diego Tutweiller, 2014 or 2017 or whenever you decided that its an unintentional comedy

"No one is allowed to change their opinion on a film over time."

- Nicolas Moody, 2018

Seems like a bit of a stretch for you to give a film an 8/10 and then call it an unintentional comedy a few months later.

I called it that once as a joke. Dry your eyes.

Ah, so now it's a joke?  Even though in its original context, you surrounded it by films you considered to be "so bad it's good" for a while now such as The Host and The Mortal Instruments?  Even though after I accused you of it not so long ago, and after I accused you of it again just now, you didn't clarify it as a joke?  Seems a bit convenient of a time for it to suddenly be a joke, but okay, whatever you say.

You took the bait and failed spectacularly, dumpster baby. Not only did you blatantly lie about when I made the comment (my Letterboxd account didn't even exist until December of 2016), but you also didn't bother to look at the rest of my list, where Gravity is clearly ranked 27 out of the 83 films I saw in 2013-- far from unintentional comedy territory. I might make jokes in my descriptions and reviews, Moody, but I never mess with the honesty of my rankings.

First of all, I didn't "blatantly lie."  I suggested both 2014 and 2017, and John said he thinks it was in 2014, so I decided to use that year since I was trusting John to be honest.  If anything, you should be mad at him for "blatantly lying."  Secondly, Even if it isn't an unintentional comedy, I still find it laughable that an 8/10 film can go so quickly to a much lower rating just a few months later.  Almost as bad as John giving BvS a 3/10 and then changing it to a 9/10, although to his credit, at least that took multiple rewatches and an entirely different cut before it shifted instead of the rating shifting just because it became popular.

I love how quickly your argument goes from "Diego changes his ratings all the time" to "Diego lowered one rating by three points over the course of a year." Yeah, tar and feather me for that if you want; it's not like the numbers we assign to films matter. What you should really care about is whether or not I can defend my stance coherently-- which I can. The same cannot be said for you and I Tonya, especially when your analysis of the film so obviously betrayed the fact that you did not understand the filmmakers' intentions.

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There are plenty of stories about being an outcast that don't feature fish sex.
By reducing it to just fish sex (which, by the way, we don't actually see in the film), you've missed the entire point of the film and are being completely ignorant about what it has to say about misogyny, xenophobia, and loneliness.

So Splash and The Little Mermaid are all well and good, but this is where you draw the line and get grossed out? Fuck off.
Everything is terrible.

Jeff Gold

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There are plenty of stories about being an outcast that don't feature fish sex.
By reducing it to just fish sex (which, by the way, we don't actually see in the film), you've missed the entire point of the film and are being completely ignorant about what it has to say about misogyny, xenophobia, and loneliness.

So Splash and The Little Mermaid are all well and good, but this is where you draw the line and get grossed out? Fuck off.
JT, I don't want to watch a fish/woman love story. What are you not getting here? I'm not saying you can't see it. I'm not even saying it's a bad movie because I can't make that call obviously. I'm certainly not saying that there aren't important thematic elements to it. All I'm saying is that I'd rather stay home and save my $8.50 than see something that I know I'll dislike and probably be disgusted by.

Charles Longboat Jr.

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There are plenty of stories about being an outcast that don't feature fish sex.
By reducing it to just fish sex (which, by the way, we don't actually see in the film), you've missed the entire point of the film and are being completely ignorant about what it has to say about misogyny, xenophobia, and loneliness.

So Splash and The Little Mermaid are all well and good, but this is where you draw the line and get grossed out? Fuck off.
JT, I don't want to watch a fish/woman love story. What are you not getting here? I'm not saying you can't see it. I'm not even saying it's a bad movie because I can't make that call obviously. I'm certainly not saying that there aren't important thematic elements to it. All I'm saying is that I'd rather stay home and save my $8.50 than see something that I know I'll dislike and probably be disgusted by.

To be fair, they do cut away before any of the actual consummation between the two occurs for the sake of thematic contrasts.

Tho Master Fie

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This film is to Hellboy as 50 Shades of Grey is to Twilight.

ChillinDylan Godsend

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This film is to Hellboy as 50 Shades of Grey is to Twilight.

So all 4 suck?

Tho Master Fie

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So did Guillermo Del Toro just rip off that Tom Hanks movie about the mermaid, then replace the mermaid with the fishman from Hellboy?

ChillinDylan Godsend

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So did Guillermo Del Toro just rip off that Tom Hanks movie about the mermaid, then replace the mermaid with the fishman from Hellboy?

A little bit, yeah.  Gender swap (Tom Hanks being the male human vs Sally Hawkins as the female human).  Except the fish man was never able to appear as a human, while Daryl Hannah was.

Tho Master Fie

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By reducing it to just fish sex (which, by the way, we don't actually see in the film), you've missed the entire point of the film and are being completely ignorant about what it has to say about misogyny, xenophobia, and loneliness.

So Splash and The Little Mermaid are all well and good, but this is where you draw the line and get grossed out? Fuck off.
Now that I've actually seen this...fuсk you.

There was so much wrong with this film, I don't even know where to begin.  My expectations were not high whatsoever, but it managed to crawl far, far beneath them.  We've come a long way in the wrong direction since Birdman won best picture.

Tut

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By reducing it to just fish sex (which, by the way, we don't actually see in the film), you've missed the entire point of the film and are being completely ignorant about what it has to say about misogyny, xenophobia, and loneliness.

So Splash and The Little Mermaid are all well and good, but this is where you draw the line and get grossed out? Fuck off.
Now that I've actually seen this...fuсk you.

There was so much wrong with this film, I don't even know where to begin.  My expectations were not high whatsoever, but it managed to crawl far, far beneath them.  We've come a long way in the wrong direction since Birdman won best picture.

It's definitely the most predictable BP winner since The Fartist.

Tho Master Fie

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It's definitely the most predictable BP winner since The Fartist.
I didn't see the Fartist.  Probably for good.
I've always found Mierda Del Toro overrated but this...this was something else.  This was offensively bad.  Don't know why I watched it over Blade Runner 2049 (which I still want to see).

Crohn's Boy

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It's definitely the most predictable BP winner since The Fartist.

no way is fish-fuck-man-film winning Best Picture
Goodbye!

Tut

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It's definitely the most predictable BP winner since The Fartist.

no way is fish-fuck-man-film winning Best Picture

Struck out again, Moody. I was referring to how predictable the movie's plot was, not that it would win Best Picture. You're having a really rough week, aren't you?

Crohn's Boy

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It's definitely the most predictable BP winner since The Fartist.

no way is fish-fuck-man-film winning Best Picture

Struck out again, Moody. I was referring to how predictable the movie's plot was, not that it would win Best Picture. You're having a really rough week, aren't you?

Besides, if we went by which movie had won the most awards, Get Out would be the frontrunner. But just as the Oscars aren't giving it to a horror/comedy, they're not giving it to a film about a woman fucking a fish man. Lady Bird is 100% the film to beat.
Goodbye!

Tut

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It's definitely the most predictable BP winner since The Fartist.

no way is fish-fuck-man-film winning Best Picture

Struck out again, Moody. I was referring to how predictable the movie's plot was, not that it would win Best Picture. You're having a really rough week, aren't you?

Besides, if we went by which movie had won the most awards, Get Out would be the frontrunner. But just as the Oscars aren't giving it to a horror/comedy, they're not giving it to a film about a woman fucking a fish man. Lady Bird is 100% the film to beat.
Are you a complete illiterate?

Crohn's Boy

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It's definitely the most predictable BP winner since The Fartist.

no way is fish-fuck-man-film winning Best Picture

Struck out again, Moody. I was referring to how predictable the movie's plot was, not that it would win Best Picture. You're having a really rough week, aren't you?

Besides, if we went by which movie had won the most awards, Get Out would be the frontrunner. But just as the Oscars aren't giving it to a horror/comedy, they're not giving it to a film about a woman fucking a fish man. Lady Bird is 100% the film to beat.
Are you a complete illiterate?

I'm tired.
Goodbye!

 

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