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Author Topic: The 2018 Kashmir Movie Awards  (Read 344 times)

Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The 2018 Kashmir Movie Awards
« Reply #40 on: March 09, 2018, 11:20:16 pm »
The Kashmir Award winner for Worst Actress:


As a Harry Potter fan in my youth, I have always been partial to the cast members and their post-franchise careers. Daniel Radcliffe is doing perfectly fine, nobody cares about Rupert Grint, and Emma Watson... turned in this performance. It’s hard to tell how much her embarrassing display is due to the script, but she could at the very least try not to bobble in and out of accents or give baffling expressions such as that of the gif I posted above. If she continues turning in performances like this (or her auto tune singing in Beauty and the Beast) she might want to consider working full time at her UN ambassador position.

Honorable Mention: Take your pick.

Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The 2018 Kashmir Movie Awards
« Reply #41 on: March 09, 2018, 11:31:30 pm »
The Kashmir Award winner for Best Actress:


Feel free to hit me with the Disagree button, Moody. Regardless, I was blown away by Margot Robbie’s performance here. Playing one of the largest scapegoats of the 1990’s, Robbie harnesses Tonya Harding’s essence at her highest and lowest moments. She sells the sheer joy Harding felt in the rink, her sometimes ghastly temper, and her fragile state at her most vulnerable. Robbie makes us empathize with Harding far more effectively than I, Tonya’s script’s clumsy guilt-tripping efforts ever could, buoying the film even through its lesser second half. For my money, the mirror and courtroom scenes are among the most finely acted of the year.

Honorable Mention: Either Florence Pugh or Saoirse Ronan. The former’s commitment to her icy role is admirable, solidifying her status as one of the industry’s most promising up-and-comers, while Ronan turned in what may be her career-best performance so far.
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Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The 2018 Kashmir Movie Awards
« Reply #42 on: March 09, 2018, 11:45:05 pm »
The winner for Biggest Surprise:


All the way back in March, my expectations were quite low for this film. The trailer was far too reliant on pushing jump scares in a completely serious context, and I suppose I had residual bitterness over Cary Fukunaga not directing. However, upon watching the film I was pleasantly surprised. Yes, the horror elements are still the weakest part of the film, but it excels as a thoroughly enjoyable coming of age tale with a solid array of child actor performances and a lot more visual polish than I expected. I should also mention that the projector scene, which I found to be the most laughable part of the trailer, ended up being one of the times I jolted a bit in my chair. Count me in for Part 2.

Honorable Mention: A United Kingdom, as I was surprised that it ended up being pretty decent despite the terrible first half hour.

Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The 2018 Kashmir Movie Awards
« Reply #43 on: March 10, 2018, 12:00:05 am »
The winner of Biggest Letdown:


I was ready to love this film heading in. I received similar vibes of cosmic sci-fi works like 2001, was ready to watch another potentially great Casey Affleck performance following Manchester by the Sea, and felt confident A24 would have another killer year. And I was mostly onboard with it too until Rooney Mara’s character leaves. A Ghost Story then segues into a frustrating latter half featuring the worst scene of 2017 in my opinion, increasingly distracting plot holes, and a final act essentially ripping off Interstellar (granted, it does that in the opening ten minutes too, but I digress). Although there are a lot of qualities I respect about the film too, I still consider A Ghost Story to be perhaps the most overrated film of 2017, comic book films notwithstanding.

Honorable Mention: Okja, as someone who enjoyed Snowpiercer.

Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The 2018 Kashmir Movie Awards
« Reply #44 on: March 10, 2018, 12:08:08 am »
The winner of Worst Director:


Pottersville is a film that has no idea what it wants to be, no doubt the fault of Director Seth Henrikson. He seems to want the film to be a standard Hallmark Christmas comedy, a subversive satire (given the plot threads about furries and media sensationalism over Bigfoot), and a Capra tribute all at the same time. He fails on all three fronts. His fixation with having weird, incompetently framed close-ups of the actors’ bewildered faces is the only type of style he seems to have.

Honorable Mention: Either James Ponsoldt or Sarik Andreasyan.

Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The 2018 Kashmir Movie Awards
« Reply #45 on: March 10, 2018, 12:20:37 am »
Best Director:


Nolan is the indisputable winner of this category because he has a cinematic Midas touch. His visual storytelling is at its most sublime and unrivaled, and his eschewing of dialogue is a welcome change because his films transcend words. Only a mastermind could replicate war in this scale, and Nolan lives up to every single expectation. Hail Nolan!

Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The 2018 Kashmir Movie Awards
« Reply #46 on: March 10, 2018, 12:22:17 am »
Hold up, guys. It seems that some hipster elitist snobs have impeded on my awards show.

Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The 2018 Kashmir Movie Awards
« Reply #47 on: March 10, 2018, 12:24:42 am »
NO! YOU’RE WrONg YoU’rE eViL Nolan Is God I SaW it oN IMDB!

Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The 2018 Kashmir Movie Awards
« Reply #48 on: March 10, 2018, 12:26:00 am »
HE’s A GOD He’S sAvInG CIneMa!!! THIS FoRUM’s RheToRIc iS EvIL!

Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The 2018 Kashmir Movie Awards
« Reply #49 on: March 10, 2018, 12:27:23 am »
NOOOaAuUuauuajjahauuauauauagjgjgjghgjgjdndsmfahhhj!

GET AWAY FROM ME ELITIST! HE’s GOD!



YOU’LL NEVER STOP ME ELITIST!

Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The 2018 Kashmir Movie Awards
« Reply #50 on: March 10, 2018, 10:05:27 pm »
The actual winner of Best Director:


As I’ve stated before, Phantom Thread is a film I enjoyed while watching, but its greatness particularly convened upon me at the very end. That may be the mark of a well done directorial job. Like many directorial outings this year, Phantom Thread represents PTA at his most confident and artistically powerful, getting every element to work, whether it takes further reflection to do so (and for that matter he also uses fairy tale elements better than The Shape of Water did). Once again he strikes gold with his cast, composer, and the rest of his crew, culminating in a work that will age just as well as his other modern classics.

Honorable Mention: Denis Villeneuve for Blade Runner 2049. Few directors in his generation have his intuition, maturity, and the type of reverence for source material that seeks to expand it, and subsequently he made perhaps his best film.

Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The 2018 Kashmir Movie Awards
« Reply #51 on: March 10, 2018, 10:15:28 pm »
The Kashmir Award winner for Worst Picture:


Nobody, myself included, anticipated Russian Guardians to be high art. I did, however, hope that this would end up being the best bad movie of 2017, and it even failed on that front - all the best parts from the trailer last a few seconds long, and then the film is just insultingly lazy rushing through MCU formula, stiff acting, an absence of endearingly inept subtitles (at least in the dub I watched), and unimpressive, banal visuals. Although The Circle and Pottersville may have more astonishingly poor qualities at times, I at least found some marginal unintentional humorous value in each. The only compliment I can give Russian Guardians is that it only lasted 82 minutes.

Honorable Mention: The Circle.

Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The 2018 Kashmir Movie Awards
« Reply #52 on: March 10, 2018, 10:22:08 pm »
The Kashmir award for Best Picture:


Blade Runner 2049 is the only film from 2017 that I went out of my way to watch twice in theaters, and I never felt its length either time. 2049 is the most immersive cinematic experience of 2017 on visual and storytelling fronts, improves on many aspects of its tremendous predecessor, and demonstrates director Denis Villeneuve’s tendency to outdo himself with his many ambitious projects. This film has revitalized my optimism for the state of the blockbuster, and I myself am confident that it will one day reach modern classic status.

Honorable Mention: Phantom Thread
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Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The 2018 Kashmir Movie Awards
« Reply #53 on: March 10, 2018, 11:00:00 pm »
The list of winners, for posterity:

Best Picture: Blade Runner 2049
Worst Picture: The Guardians (aka Russian Guardians)
Best Director: Paul Thomas Anderson (Phantom Thread)
Worst Director: Seth Henrikson (Pottersville)
Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis (Phantom Thread)
Worst Actor: Dane DeHaan (Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets)
Best Actress: Margot Robbie (I, Tonya)
Worst Actress: Emma Watson (The Circle)
Best Supporting Actor: San Rockwell (Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri)
Worst Supporting Actor: Ellar Coltrane (The Circle)
Best Supporting Actress: Vicky Krieps (Phantom Thread)
Best Voiceover Performance: Frank Oz (Star Wars: The Last Jedi)
Best Original Screenplay: Three Billboards
Worst Original Screenplay: Russian Guardians
Best Adapted Screenplay: Blade Runner 2049
Worst Adapted Screenplay: The Circle
Best Animated Film: Your Name
Best Cinematography: Blade Runner 2049
Best Editing: Dunkirk
Worst Editing: Pottersville
Best Visual Effects: Blade Runner 2049
Worst Visual Effects: Russian Guardians
Best Original Score: Jonny Greenwood (Phantom Thread)
Best Original Song: “The Mystery of Love” (Call Me By Your Name)
Most Entertaining Scene: Bobby confronting Hazelrabbit (The Florida Project)
Most Intense Scene: The pillow (Lady Macbeth)
Most Emotional Scene: The ending of Blade Runner 2049
Worst Scene: Thee Beethoven monologue (A Ghost Story)
Best Line: “Kiss me, my girl, before I’m sick.” - Phantom Thread
Worst Line: The Beethoven monologue (A Ghost Story)
Biggest Surprise: IT
Biggest Letdown: A Ghost Story

 

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