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Poll

What will win Best Picture at this year's Tutties?

Colossal
0 (0%)
Lady Bird
0 (0%)
Lady Macbeth
1 (100%)
I, Tonya
0 (0%)
Wind River
0 (0%)

Total Members Voted: 1

Author Topic: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread  (Read 418 times)

Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #40 on: March 05, 2018, 12:12:55 am »
For Worst Non-Original Screenplay:



Hahaha! Suck my dick, Dave Eggers, you hack fraud. After five years of hearing about how wonderful your garbage novel was from people who likely never read it, the chickens finally came home to roost for you. In adapting your literary bowel movement to the screen, you actually managed to make some minor improvements-- which is probably the only reason the film made it as high as 15% on Rotten Tomatoes. You should’ve quit while you were ahead.
I still don't understand if the ending was deliberately contradicting everything the movie was yelling into your ear the whole runtime.

Tut

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #41 on: March 05, 2018, 12:13:09 am »
The cinematography wasn't that bad. That said, Darius Khondji did better work last year with The Lost City of Z. I'm still curious to hear what you'd think about that film.

That's one of those movies I never got around to seeing. I heard some really mixed things about it, but I might still check it out sometime down the road.

Tut

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #42 on: March 05, 2018, 12:14:41 am »
For Best Non-Original Screenplay:



One of the most tense and gripping screenplays of the year. From the trailers, youíd think this was some flowery Victorian-era romance, but the way the film slowly devolves into emotional abuse and unspeakable brutality is done perfectly. I like to reward films that juggle different tones, and while I Tonya does this as well, I think Lady Macbethís singular mix of dark comedy and psychological manipulation makes it a slightly more impressive feat.
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Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #43 on: March 05, 2018, 12:14:57 am »
The cinematography wasn't that bad. That said, Darius Khondji did better work last year with The Lost City of Z. I'm still curious to hear what you'd think about that film.

That's one of those movies I never got around to seeing. I heard some really mixed things about it, but I might still check it out sometime down the road.
It's on Amazon Prime so if you have that then it'll be easy. It kind of drags at points but it's pretty gorgeous visually and makes for a pretty gripping biopic. There's a lot of David Lean vibes to it which is why I want some other people to see it.

Tut

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #44 on: March 05, 2018, 12:15:56 am »
For Worst Original Screenplay:



This film was written by an insane person. I donít know what the motive was behind this movie, but every possible explanation for it is dumber than the last. It presents a fragile, unstable woman as the protagonist to serve as nothing more than a one-dimensional martyr-- too pure to emotionally handle the evil that is capitalism. Itís reprehensible. I donít think any film has ever underestimated my intelligence this much before.

Crohn's Boy

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #45 on: March 05, 2018, 12:17:08 am »
So Diego...what did you think had no chance of winning Best Picture again?

Contribute something to the discussion or you're getting a week-long vacation.

Ok.

Blade Runner 2049 getting cinematography is a  cool win.
Goodbye!

Robert_Neville

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #46 on: March 05, 2018, 12:19:13 am »
And now, quick word from our sponsor. Hello friends! My name are Dmitri Vladivostok. Are you have trouble with elections and democratic process? Voting not working out how you like? Then I have just the service for you! My well-trained crew of Russian cyber-goons can rig any election, low cost. If you need stupid idiot to become next president of country you dislike, or want retarded film about woman fucking fish monster to win Best Picture, look no further than Dmitri's Russian Troll Farm! Hope to see you in my office soon!

Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #47 on: March 05, 2018, 12:20:23 am »
And now, quick word from our sponsor. Hello friends! My name are Dmitri Vladivostok. Are you have trouble with elections and democratic process? Voting not working out how you like? Then I have just the service for you! My well-trained crew of Russian cyber-goons can rig any election, low cost. If you need stupid idiot to become next president of country you dislike, or want retarded film about woman fucking fish monster to win Best Picture, look no further than Dmitri's Russian Troll Farm! Hope to see you in my office soon!
How does the Troll Farm feel about Icarus's victory and Loveless's snub at the Oscars?

Tut

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #48 on: March 05, 2018, 12:20:56 am »
Aaaand we're back! For Best Original Screenplay:



This was a very close category, but ultimately I felt compelled to give this award to one of the most outlandish films Iíve ever seen. Colossalís off-the-wall premise might elicit some laughs, but this brilliant screenplay makes it work, not taking the premise wholly seriously but also knowing when to play things straight. The filmís expert mix of light and dark makes it very memorable, and it handles its tonal shifts with grace. And, of course, I love metaphorical sci-fi like this.
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Tut

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #49 on: March 05, 2018, 12:21:41 am »
So Diego...what did you think had no chance of winning Best Picture again?

Contribute something to the discussion or you're getting a week-long vacation.

Ok.

Blade Runner 2049 getting cinematography is a  cool win.

Agreed. I was really worried they'd pull some weird shit and give it to Mudbound or something.

Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #50 on: March 05, 2018, 12:22:13 am »
Aaaand we're back! For Best Original Screenplay:



This was a very close category, but ultimately I felt compelled to give this award to one of the most outlandish films Ií've ever seen. Colossalí's off-the-wall premise might elicit some laughs, but this brilliant screenplay makes it work, not taking the premise wholly seriously but also knowing when to play things straight. The filmís expert mix of light and dark makes it very memorable, and it handles its tonal shifts with grace. And, of course, I love metaphorical sci-fi like this.
Ended up backing out of predicting this. Good pick though.

Tut

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #51 on: March 05, 2018, 12:24:25 am »
FOR WORST DIRECTOR:



Talk about your terrible directors. This year, the glue-sniffing pyromaniac Zack Snyder couldnít even be bothered to finish his own movie, leaving Joss Whedon to pick up the pieces in the hopes that his involvement would be forgotten. And while brave Whedon valiantly tried his best to put the DCEU back together again, the damage wrought by The Hack was too great. Zack, you get a 0/10 for being too lazy to finish your movie, as well as for continuing to breathe valuable air. Shame on you.

Robert_Neville

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #52 on: March 05, 2018, 12:25:30 am »
And now, quick word from our sponsor. Hello friends! My name are Dmitri Vladivostok. Are you have trouble with elections and democratic process? Voting not working out how you like? Then I have just the service for you! My well-trained crew of Russian cyber-goons can rig any election, low cost. If you need stupid idiot to become next president of country you dislike, or want retarded film about woman fucking fish monster to win Best Picture, look no further than Dmitri's Russian Troll Farm! Hope to see you in my office soon!
How does the Troll Farm feel about Icarus's victory and Loveless's snub at the Oscars?

Was Ukrainian plot. We will get revenge soon. You see.
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William Costigan

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #53 on: March 05, 2018, 12:26:22 am »
FOR WORST DIRECTOR:



Talk about your terrible directors. This year, the glue-sniffing pyromaniac Zack Snyder couldnít even be bothered to finish his own movie, leaving Joss Whedon to pick up the pieces in the hopes that his involvement would be forgotten. And while brave Whedon valiantly tried his best to put the DCEU back together again, the damage wrought by The Hack was too great. Zack, you get a 0/10 for being too lazy to finish your movie, as well as for continuing to breathe valuable air. Shame on you.

Hell yeah! Justice League was far and away the worst movie of the year.

Tut

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #54 on: March 05, 2018, 12:26:36 am »
FOR BEST DIRECTOR:



Though the Tutties werenít around in 2008, Martin McDonagh would easily have netted a Best Director Tuttie for his work on In Bruges. Nevertheless, Iím pleased to finally give it to him for Three Billboards-- which may surprise some people given that I only gave the film a 7/10. But although the script for this film is somewhat messy, McDonagh finds the right tone, and as always manages to get career-best performances from all the actors he works with. The guy is a great actorís director, something that canít quite be said for Nolan, and if his movie actually won Best Picture at the Oscars tonight (I donít know yet!), then Iím happy for him.
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Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #55 on: March 05, 2018, 12:27:18 am »
FOR WORST DIRECTOR:



Talk about your terrible directors. This year, the glue-sniffing pyromaniac Zack Snyder couldn’t even be bothered to finish his own movie, leaving Joss Whedon to pick up the pieces in the hopes that his involvement would be forgotten. And while brave Whedon valiantly tried his best to put the DCEU back together again, the damage wrought by The Hack was too great. Zack, you get a 0/10 for being too lazy to finish your movie, as well as for continuing to breathe valuable air. Shame on you.
I find it disgusting that people are personally attacking a man who recently had to bury his own daughter just because of what, fucking comic book movies you happened to dislike? Youíre just as bad, or legitimately worse than the rabid fanboys you make fun of if you believe thatís in anyway acceptable.

Tut

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #56 on: March 05, 2018, 12:27:21 am »
Hell yeah! Justice League was far and away the worst movie of the year.

I feel that this will anger Danny Oh given that Snyder apologists say it wasn't his fault. Still, the man got sole directing credit. I don't know how you could blame anyone else.

Charles Longboat Jr.

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #57 on: March 05, 2018, 12:28:17 am »
FOR BEST DIRECTOR:



Though the Tutties werenít around in 2008, Martin McDonagh would easily have netted a Best Director Tuttie for his work on In Bruges. Nevertheless, Iím pleased to finally give it to him for Three Billboards-- which may surprise some people given that I only gave the film a 7/10. But although the script for this film is somewhat messy, McDonagh finds the right tone, and as always manages to get career-best performances from all the actors he works with. The guy is a great actorís director, something that canít quite be said for Nolan, and if his movie actually won Best Picture at the Oscars tonight (I donít know yet!), then Iím happy for him.
I feel bad for snubbing him at the Kashmir Awards. That said, he could still have a chance at upsets elsewhere.

William Costigan

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #58 on: March 05, 2018, 12:28:46 am »
FOR WORST DIRECTOR:



Talk about your terrible directors. This year, the glue-sniffing pyromaniac Zack Snyder couldnít even be bothered to finish his own movie, leaving Joss Whedon to pick up the pieces in the hopes that his involvement would be forgotten. And while brave Whedon valiantly tried his best to put the DCEU back together again, the damage wrought by The Hack was too great. Zack, you get a 0/10 for being too lazy to finish your movie, as well as for continuing to breathe valuable air. Shame on you.
I find it disgusting that people are personally attacking a man who recently had to bury his own daughter just because of what, fucking comic book movies you happened to dislike? Youíre just as bad, or legitimately worse than the rabid fanboys you make fun of if you believe thatís in anyway acceptable.

Separate the art from the artist, bro.

Tut

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Re: The Sixth Annual Tutties Thread
« Reply #59 on: March 05, 2018, 12:29:08 am »
FOR WORST SUPPORTING ACTRESS:



Iíve never much cared for the debate about diversity in big-budget films. While itís true that it can feel forced, having black, Hispanic, and female characters in a Star Wars movie was hardly what made The Force Awakens bad. That said, Rose is the first token character Iíve seen in these films who legitimately adds nothing else to the story. I seriously cannot fathom what Disney was thinking when they included this character in their film. Either you cast someone because theyíre attractive, or you cast them because they can act-- or even better, both! But not neither. Never neither. 0/10 for Kelly Marie Tranny, both for her acting and for her pizza-dough face.

 

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